Monday, 17 September 2007

  • More on my hatred of showers.

    My shower has two temperatures: Cold and Hot.

    To get to one, you turn the water on. To get to the second, you perform a complex ritual summoning the element of fire from the core of the Earth to help you accomplish this task, and wait five minutes.

    Unfortunately, the element of fire then oversteps its duty by quite a lot, rewarding you with an experience that makes the mountain of Vesuvius seem not only weak, but positively dainty. And any attempts to turn the cold water back on in venturing to "balance things out," will either be completely ignored, or taken offense at, in which the fire element will abandon you completely, leaving you with an environment hospitable for seals, penguins and desperate paleontologists.


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